Courtroom Madness
by Purr
Summary: Usagi and her brother Hiiro have been called into court by various people. They're sued from cheating on their partners to harrassing a police officer. And who is the mystery man that Mamoru is suing for stealing away his Usako?


AN: This is exactly the same story that I posted in GW/SM section. But since I can't do much with a broken finger, and I think this story fits better in this category, I'm moving it here. Another new story ^.^;;; Sorry but I was a little bored in chemistry class…big surprise, and decided to skip the class and write something. So, this is the product… hope you enjoy. It's a little confusing at first, since there are also characters from other anime. There will be a list at the bottom of the story to clarify who's who ^_^ Oh, forgot to mention anything, I got IM now ^_^ So if anyone want to chat, my ICQ and AIM screen number/screen name is on my author's page ^_^

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

Prologue

It was a peaceful and quiet day …. Well as peaceful and quiet as it could be when you were in the building where some of the most dangerous men got convicted and sent to jail. Yep that's right, welcome to the Sanq Kingdom Supreme Court of Justice. And today, the building was unusually noisy with what might be the most important case of the century. For the ruler of the Sanq Kingdom herself, Relena-sama had come here to seek justice.

Inside the large, high ceiling room, bright sunlight poured in through the tall French window barred by gundaminum. It was as rowdy a crowd as you could get. For people of all races, sex, age, past, power, and … dimensions were gathered here to witness today's case. Her Majesty, Relena-sama was sitting at the prosecutor's table, flashing her pearly whites at the blanking cameras, and talking about today's case. After all, who was she to deny the world of her presence? There was no doubt, looking at her calculated features that she would win her case. Then again, was there anything that money and power could not buy? 

She was quickly joined by a man, who though dressed less flashy than the Queen (who was wearing her crown), was not less impressive in his top hat and black tuxedo, which would have fitted perfectly with old wax statues in museums. 

"Relena, is the attorney here yet?" the man asked rather nervously, looking around the crowded court room, but still, there was no signs of their lawyer.

"Don't worry Mamoru," the Queen of the World hissed between her teeth, all the while keeping her perfect smile (the one she practices everyday in front of the mirror) on her face. "I made sure that we have the best lawyer money could buy. She or he will be here very soon."

"What?! You mean you haven't met the lawyer yet?!" the dark haired man screeched out in shock.

"Don't act like that you imbecile! I can't believe that we are related sometimes," the girl snapped. "If you act a nervous wreck, you'll be killed by the questioning for sure!"

"You're right…you're right. I have to act confident…I have to act confident," the tall man chanted to himself over and over again. "I will get that bastard for stealing my Usako."

~*~*~*~

Across the aisle sitting at the defendants' table, the two defendants were having a similar conversation.

"Where is he? Case is about to begin, and our lawyer is still not here yet!" the blonde girl with her hair in odangos panicked, scanning the talking mass for their lawyer.

"Don't worry that much Usagi. K will be here pretty soon, you know that he'll never miss something this exciting and fun," the Prefect Soldier smirked, thinking about their lawyer…. Well, K couldn't exactly be called a lawyer; he was just a last minute replacement for their real lawyer, who after learning that they were being sued by the Sanq Kingdom ruler, Queen Relena, immediately decided to retire from law and bought a little villa with the money given to him from Relena, no doubt.

"That's what I'm afraid of! You can never tell what K plans in his head! He's even more unpredictable than Duo!" Usagi sighed. "He might be a great manager, but does he know anything about being a lawyer?"

"Calm down Usagi. I can see him now," Hiiro said, pointing to a tall figure with a high blond ponytail, and dark sunglasses.

"K!" The blonde girl waved wildly, beckoning the lawyer towards the defendant table. 

"Usagi-chan, Hiiro-kun, ready to rock?" The tall blond man said in his usual American accent, who was the manager of the popular group Bad Luck said cheerfully, giving each a hug.

"Ready to rock? K, this isn't a concert!!! How can you say that? Our whole life is depending on you!" the bunny cried out. "Where's your briefcase?"

"What briefcase?" the manager turned lawyer looked down at the petite girl confused, while Hiiro just smirked.

Usagi stared at her lawyer in shock. "You…you mean you didn't bring anything here? Did you even prepare? We are done for sure now." She lamented throwing her hand up.

"Don't worry little bunny," K grinned, patting the blond girl's head like one would do a pet. "I have all I need here." The lawyer pointed to the duffle bag he held. By the looks of it, it was filled with some pretty heavy things, and every time it moved, the sound of metal hitting metal was heard. 

"What's in there?" Usagi asked curiously, her nervousness over came momentarily. She suddenly eyed K carefully for the first time since the tall blond man walked into the court room. Like all the other men, he was wearing a slick black suite, but the sun glasses and the trench coat gave an impression of a mafia leader than a lawyer. 

And by the little mysterious grin that K had…why did Usagi suddenly have a bad feeling about this? 

"What are you planning K?" Usagi asked weakly as her legs gave out beneath her and she collapsed into the chair. Just the thought of the mischief K could brew immediately made her inside twist into a huge knot.

"You'll see. Like I said, chibi, don't worry. I'll share a little secret with you, if you want," K smiled, and bent down to whisper into the bunny's ear. "I know the judge who's going to be responsible to this case."

"You what?!" the expression of defeat suddenly changed into one of glee. "How?"

"Connections chibi. It's all about connections. You can't be the manager of a popular band without any connections," the lawyer laughed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for the case."

Hiiro smirked when he saw Usagi almost faint from shock as K opened his duffle bag. Well, it wasn't very new to him, since he did participate in the two wars. But to someone as young and innocent as Usagi, it must be very traumatizing to see a machine gun, with a long chain of bullets being pulled out of K's bag. And there was not only the machine gun, the tall blond, American manger turned lawyer also pulled out at least half a dozen grenades, two magnum 31 hand guns, small daggers, and some other interesting kinds of hand weapons that even the Perfect Soldier didn't recognize.

Just as the lawyer finished equipping himself with the things he needed for the case, a bell rang, signifying the beginning of the case. Everyone hurriedly sat down in there seats. In the seats behind them, Usagi recognized the faces of her senshi and the other gundam pilots, who were here to both cheer them on, and to act as witnesses to their cases. It was about time that they settled this. Neither Usagi nor Hiiro could take Relena's obsessive stalking or Mamoru's jealous rages.

"All rise for the honourable judge Lady Une!" A tall young man in a bailiff's uniform cried out as he walked out from a little door to the right of the judge's seat. Usagi gave him a queer look. Even though he was quite handsome, there was just something disturbing about him. He did look very professional in his winkle free uniform, but maybe it was because of the fish bone that hangs from the corner of his mouth, and the red bandana around his forehead, and the look of boredom on his face, that just made him out of place in this serious place. Everyone stared in stunned as the bailiff turned, and clearly printed on the back of his uniform was the kenji word "wicked".

"K!" Usagi hissed through her teeth, all the while trying to appear as calm as possible. "You didn't tell me that the judge is Lady Une! How did you know her?"

"I met her when she was still struggling with her split personalities," K whispered back amusingly. "I happened to be visiting one of my friends in the hospital, and her room was next to his, so that's how we met. She's a pretty good kisser too." The lawyer gave a little wink to the blonde girl who he was defending, though God knows that poor Usagi have been shocked for enough times now.

Usagi didn't have time to ask another question, as the juries walked in. To her shock, and the shock of all the rest of the females present, some of the juries were Shindo Shuuichi the lead singer of Bad Luck, his lover Eiri Yuki the famous love story novelist, Seguchi Tohma the keyboardist of Nittle Nasper, and Sakuma Ryuuichi the lead singer of Nittle Nasper. These were only part of the people who made up the grand jury. The other half of the jury was no less impressive and handsome…but they were a little too divine for the normal humans who were in the court room. For who would dare to approach the four gods, Myakka, Suzaku, Seiryuu, and Genbu? Let alone the four shinigamis, Tsuzuki, Hisoka, Tatsumi, and Watari who were called here from Meifu (land of the dead).

To round up this well diverse group of jury, was the judge, Lady Une herself. For who can be more fair than the person who was once the enemy of both Relena and Hiiro? She was dressed in the traditional black smock of a judge. Her hair was down, but the familiar pair of round glasses sat snugly on her nose. It was impossible to tell which personality was dominating; the peace loving Preventer, or the war loving Lieutenant.

"Yo K," Usagi hissed again before Judge Une sat down. "Are you sure that you know her?"

"Positive chibi," the cocky American replied. And as if to prove it, K caught the judge's eyes and blew her a kiss.

"Mr. K!" to the defendant attorney's surprise, Judge Une gave him a chilling glare through her glasses, and brought down her mallet. "What is the meaning of this inappropriate behaviour? Are you trying to use our previous relationship in this case? Because let me assure you that if you are, it's not going to work!"

"What was it that you said about connections K?" the bunny taunted as her lawyer frowned at this sudden turn of events. 

The blond American scowled. He hadn't expected this. This was totally different from being the manager of Bad Luck, where no one dared to mess with him. Maybe he might have to turn to his trusty toys this time, things might turn just a little bit difficult now that he couldn't expect any help from the judge. But then again, when did he ever turn down a challenge? The cocky grin returned to his face, as the sugoi K, manager of the most popular boy band Bad Luck, laid out a new plan to conquer the court room.

"Without any further interruptions then, let us begin." The judge started, looking down at her papers.

The court reporter hurriedly begins to tap on his typewriter. Poor him, it was just his luck. Why couldn't he go to the mountains to train like the rest of the Hokage ninjas? As Recca Hanabishi, the leader of the Hokage team, he should be the one who was leading this group. But no, after his Ka-chan saw his report card, she signed him up as a student volunteer at the Supreme Court, where he now had to work as the court reporter for the rest of the summer. 

"Let's see, we have quite a long time together. There are several cases here concerning Ms. Usagi Tsukino. But first things first, Ms. Relena Peacecraft, the Queen of the Sanq Kingdom, is accusing Hiiro Yuy, the gundam pilot 01 of cheating on her with: Usagi Tsukino, Duo Maxwell, Dr. J, Zechs Marquis aka Milliardo Peacecraft, Wing Zero, and … Lady Une?" The judge finished off, speechless. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS MS. PEACEFRAFT?" The Lady screamed out.

"She's in her Lieutenant form right now," K whispered to Usagi, 

nodding to the judge whose glasses were gleaming dangerous, and the mallet was held in her hand, ready to be flung.

"This is a pacifist country, I can accuse anyone I want, since I'm the queen," Relena replied, not at all scared of the Lady.

Poor girl, now she's asking for it, both the bailiff and the court reporter thought to themselves. 

"Okay then…" Judge Une hissed out dangerously through her clutched teeth. "The prosecutor attorney please step forward and state the case." 

Everyone looked to the prosecutor's table, where Relena was quiet, and Mamoru was visible shaking in his tuxedo. But there was no sign of their lawyer.

"I repeat, the prosecutor attorney, please come forward!" The judge once again demanded. "If you are not here in five minutes, I will null all accusations made by the Queen Relena and her cousin Mamoru on Usagi Tsukino and Hiiro Yuy."

The whole room was dead silent as everyone looked around curiously for the lawyer that should be here. The only sound in the large room was the typing of Recca's type writer, the clicking of the Judge's nails on the table, and the nervous knocking of Mamoru's knees.

Faintly, almost none existent sound of steps were heard out side of the court room. Suddenly, the steps became more and clearer, until a person burst through the closed oak doors…

Defendants: Usagi, Hiiro

Prosecutors: Relena, Mamoru

Defendant Attorney: K (Gravitation)

Prosecutor Attorney: guess ^_^

Judge: Lady Une (GW)

Bailiff: Sanosuke (Kenshin)

Court Reporter: Recca (Flame of Recca)

Jury: Watari, Tsuzuki, Hisoka, Tatsumi (all from Yami no Matsuei)

Byakko, Genbu, Seiryuu, Suzuki (FY gods, in their human forms)

Shuuichi, Eiri Yuki, Seguchi Tohma, Sakuma Ryuuichi (all from Gravitation)

AN: I hope that you like it. If there's anything wrong, please tell me, I'm not that familiar with the law and court. And if you want to see some characters from other anime, tell me too, and I'll see if I can add them in. And the person who can guess who Mamoru and Relena's lawyer is, will get the next chapter one week before I post it^_^ I'll give you a little clue, he's either from Weiß or DBZ ^_^Please review ^_^ 


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